The Land of Rape and Honey… and Purged Goods

It’s Spring time.  And I’m cleaning.  In addition to moving = purging.  I am not a hoarder.  I have no problem letting things go.  That said, I often use the services of to help me rid of unwanted items to earn cash that will leverage the extra expenses of moving stuff around.

I probably have about a dozen postings on the Boston craigslist right now.   One of them is a huge lot of unwanted clothing, shoes, handbags, etc.  I received my first response today.  Here goes:

“Would you sell one of those pairs of well worn heels to a foot fetishist? no, I don’t wear them. I just buy womens well used and worn heels for my pleasure…I’ll offer you $100 for a pair, but all I ask is that you wear that pair around for a few days and then I’ll buy them right off your feet..”


Seems weird, but I’m not judging.  We all have our “thing”.  And that $100 would be nice.  That would buy me the IKEA bunk bed that I want to get Liam for his birthday, or even offset the cost of what will surely be an expensive birthday party at Chuck-e-Cheese (for Liam, not me).  All that I have to do is walk around in a pair of heels for a few minutes, and BAM… I’m done.

… and suddenly I’m a prostitute.  Which leads me to my next thought: he is going to strangle me.  He is going to come into my home, put a plastic bag over my head, and suffocate me.  How do I know this?  I am self aware, that’s why.  If alive, and of age to understand what boys do, I fully admit that if I had been victim to Ted Bundy’s charisma, I would be dead right now.

And this is good!  Knowing this keeps me out of trouble.  Being self aware keeps me out of trouble.  I have been known to fall victim to bad programs though due to the manipulation of some pretty charismatic people.  Take Guy Fieri for example.  I don’t know why I like him, I just do.  I think he’s stupid, but I like him.  He’s not cute, but I think he’s cute.

See what I mean?  Bah.

Think I’m going to do what I do best: follow my “gut”.  It’s telling me to skip this program and go eat some ice cream.

Damnit gut… we’re dieting.  We’re not watching The Biggest Loser every Tuesday night for nothing.

By the way, if you’re looking for a lot of used brand name clothing, let me know.  Just don’t ask me to wear it for you.

And if you’re looking to make a quick $100 bucks, I know a guy with a foot fetish that can help you out.


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